And that’s that. October 12 was the last day of my 100 Day Sustainability Challenge. This week, some time to reflect on the Challenge and lessons learned.

Recap of the backstory: the idea for the challenge came in early July, inspired by discussions with people around the world who were also taking the online course Learning for Sustainability: Developing a Personal Ethic, my sweet spousey’s “My Summer in Photos” creativity project (taking at least one photo every day), and also spousey and a friend CM’s environmental action challenge done a while ago on Facebook. I decided to do a “100 days of sustainability” project where every day I do something that is related to sustainability, and not count in the list of 100 any actions that are repeats from something I already listed during the challenge. In our house we already do a lot of the “50 simple things you can do” type stuff, so in this challenge I aimed to be creative and think about things I can do that reflect specifics of who I am, where I live, what I value, etc. and that genuinely did stretch me a bit.

In part this was sparked by the past year of mental health struggle that started with a total breakdown and severe depression, which then morphed into alternating between depersonalization/dissociation (being totally checked out) and hypersensitivity/agoraphobia (being hypervigilant and overwhelmed by intense memories, thoughts, and feelings). As I worked on recovery I got to a point where it was obvious that to be able to recover personally, I also needed to recover politically. To feel real, I needed to actually do things that felt important and meaningful.

So, how did it work out in the end?

In going back over all my posts from the Sustainability Challenge, I was struck by five things:

• Lesson #1: Even if you’re a mess, you can get a lot of shit done in 100 days.
• Lesson #2: There’s always something that can be done.
• Lesson #3: You have to start where you are, but you can’t stay there; there is no final resting place.
• Lesson #4: Sometimes it’s better to do something badly than do nothing at all.
• Lesson #5: I have so much to learn.

I’ll write a bit more about each of these in the next few posts. First things first:

Lesson #1: Even if you’re a mess, you can get a lot of shit done in 100 days.

Here’s the list of everything I did during this Challenge – with no repeats, as per the Challenge rules.

Rallies, gatherings, and other “on the ground” actions

1. Action to support the Regional Housing First initiative: worked with a small group of people to plan the action, learned how to set up a Facebook event and created the event listing, created a poster and handbills, put together a list of groups to send event info and promo materials to, and sent promo materials out
2. No consent, no LNG! action in solidarity with camps at Lax U’u’la, Madii Lii, and Unist’ot’en: worked with a small group of people to plan the action, created an information flyer and event promo handbills, sketched out a banner, attended the event, and helped cover event costs
3. Went to Sanctuary City rally calling for Victoria city council to implement a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy so undocumented migrant workers, refugees, and immigrants can access health and social services without fear of imprisonment or deportation
4. Supported local “Refugees Welcome” rally that was part of a cross-country mobilization organized by various organizations and movements: talked with organizers about how to address the many things that are fucked about Canadian immigration laws without reinforcing colonial control of Indigenous lands and participated in discussion about this post-action; folded booklets and helped paint a banner for the event; went to the event
5. Participated in Community Tool Shed to help remove invasive plants from Meegan (aka Beaconhill park) as part of a broader initiative to reinstate the Lekwungen Kwetlal (camas) food system
6. Went to Unist’ot’en camp solidarity action (banner hanging from a local highway overpass) and connected with a couple people at that action about ways to provide ongoing support

Lobbying: government, businesses, etc.

1. Talked with my local MP and current NDP candidate Randall Garrison about my concerns around the NDP’s shift to the right
2. Challenged a Conservative Party canvasser who came to our house about the party’s stance on immigration and Canadian nationalism and xenophobia
3. Signed a petition and wrote letters to regional and municipal governments supporting a proposal for regional housing first strategy that would include building 367 units of supported housing by 2018
4. Wrote Victoria City Council regarding the need to address conditions for people who are currently sleeping outside, and to build non-exploitive, genuinely mutual relationships between housed and unhoused people where together we can think about how as a community we can make sure everyone has a safe place to live
5. Contacted our municipality’s sustainability coordinator to encourage linking to the current City of Victoria food security initiative and offering to volunteer to help with something similar in Saanich
6. Signed petition opposing BC government’s agreement with commercial water companies, including Nestlé, permitting them to take groundwater for access rights of $2.25 per million litres and then resell it at a huge profit
7. Contacted the local 40 Days for Life (an annual anti-abortion vigil) group to urge them to move their location away from the Island Women’s Health clinic, to reduce the harm and stress on clinic patients and staff
8. Wrote a letter supporting release of Eddie Africa, one of the MOVE 9, who is (after 37 years in prison) scheduled to appear before the Pennsylvania State Parole Board in October
9. Marked Labour Day by signing the “No 4 and 4” petition calling for the Canadian government to meet 4 demands relating to justice for migrant workers
10. Sleuthed transit systems in Canada to look at alternatives to disposable monthly plastic bus passes, then contacted BC Transit to request & suggest alternatives
11. Contacted the maker and seller of our home’s air purifier system to press them on how to recycle HEPA air filters
12. Participated in provincial government climate action consultation process both to be able to learn more about how the BC government is spinning things, and also to provide comments that challenge the fundamental assumptions embedded in the consultation
13. Wrote a letter on the 1st of each month to all Canadian federal party leaders & environment reps/critics, as part of the ClimateFast campaign

Mutual aid: Supporting community initiatives to address real community needs

1. Explored right livelihood, i.e., what it means to make one’s living in a way that does not cause harm and that is ethically positive: followed job ads over a period of time, did sleuthing on farm internships and volunteer opportunities, and scouted farms that are realistically bikeable from where we live
2. Started volunteering with Mother Felker Farms (MFF), an organic neighbourhood-scale suburban food farm farmed primarily with hand tools and bike-accessible from our home; talked with the farmer who runs MFF about ways to support the MFF community-supported agriculture program in the next growing season
3. Wrote local government about Bullfrog Power’s new biofuel option as part of supporting localized community-controlled, environmentally sustainable power and fuel generation
4. Wrote piece and invited input on idea of safe house network as a way of addressing homelessness – as, just like food security, the problem is not that we don’t have enough physical buildings for everyone to have safe shelter, but rather that we have collectively created a culture of fear, mistrust, isolation, hoarding, and individualism, and have lost practical skills around how to look after, relate to, and share with each other

Building and sustaining relationships

1. Reconnected with old friends/activist comrades who I worked with on Palestinian solidarity and Indigenous solidarity years ago, but had lost touch with, to find out what they are doing and get their suggestions/advice on how to start getting involved again; and asked new friends for input on this question
2. Started getting to know and working with a local network of people doing local Indigenous solidarity work from an anti-colonial, anti-capitalist perspective
3. Looked into renting American Revolutionary, a documentary about brilliant activist Grace Lee Boggs (who died in October at age 100), and approached a collective house to put on a film night
4. Met with the Pie Project coordinator to try to connect with other local folks interested in working on climate change at a neighbourhood level
5. Reached out to support other people struggling with mental health challenges (inc. depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and panic disorder)
6. Connected with a local trans health researcher who is interviewing trans people and primary health care providers about best practices in the primary care setting: participated in the study (did an interview), and shared history of past work and materials/reports from past work as part of supporting her current work
7. Signed up to be a remote letter writer for the California Coalition for Women Prisoners responding to 3-5 letters per month from non-trans women and trans prisoners, as CCWP receives a lot of mail but has limited staff capacity to respond
8. Talked with local folks interested in ongoing work on refugee rights to brainstorm ideas about local organizing
9. Celebrated my 11th anniversary with my beloved partner and talked about how to intentionally put energy into sustaining our relationship over the long term; reconfigured our living space at home to reflect other changes happening in our lives, and started discussing a possible longer-term change that would provide more opportunities for collective living with other families
10. Supported my sweet spouse through return to work and the start of a new school year, by taking care of making dinners and doing house chores for 1 week
11. Visited my sister, talked with her about sustainability, and decided on sustainability work that we could do in our visit
12. Practised calling in when white people in my life said things I felt were racist
13. Went to the Alt Pride All Bodies’ Swim and connected with other trans people for the first time in a long time
14. Invited my neighbourhood association to sponsor a screening of the film The Good Life, The Green Life as part of an attempt to build connections between people interested in working on sustainability and environmental/social justice

Fundraising, donations, and other financial support

1. Put call out through personal networks for individual donations to support the Society of Living Illicit Drug Users (SOLID) Indigenous Women’s Action Group, and did some sleuthing for potential longer term grant funding
2. Donated funds to charity:water to support a running buddy who has committed to running up to 500 miles (!) in 2016, in exchange for funds to support community-based projects to build simple clean water technology (for accessible drinking water, safe sewage disposal, etc.)
3. Donated funds to support the Medicine Drive for the Unist’ot’en Camp and contacted local herbalists and herbal medicine stores asking them to support the drive
4. Donated funds and shared public support/solidarity requests from Indigenous land and water defenders, including the Madii Lii camp, the Lax Kw’alaams Lelu Island camp, the Yaakswiis Action Camp, and the Unist’ot’en Camp
5. Donated funds to support a local group that is working within the Canadian refugee system to sponsor a Syrian family of 5 to come to Canada
6. Donated funds to the Equal Justice Initiative
7. Put together cookie dough ingredients for sale to people in line for a local music festival, to raise funds and awareness of Indigenous land struggles
8. Approached a friend who lives in a collective house to see if they would be willing to host an anarchist seder in spring 2016 (using a haggadah adapted from the one I grew up with) as a fundraiser for Palestinian solidarity initiatives

Building and supporting a sustainable Buddhist sangha (community)

1. Worked with my Zen teacher to revamp our sangha’s financial accessibility guidelines to further reduce barriers to participation
2. Started working on a way for our Zen sangha to explore environmental and social responsibility together: discussed possible project structure with my teacher, contacted 4 Buddhist sanghas seeking advice about how to increase sangha engagement in environmental and social justice, organized a Zen crew to go see a local screening of This Changes Everything and participated in post-film discussions
3. Wrote article on sangha (community) for my Zen sangha’s newsletter
4. Put up posters for the upcoming Zenwest Orientation to Zen course
5. Started hashing out with my Zen teacher some ideas for the new Administrative Assistant role I’m taking on
6. Participated in my Zen sangha’s annual strategic planning session
7. Transcribed a session of the One Earth Sangha EcoSattva Training, to make the content more accessible to people who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing, and committed to transcribing two more sessions; explored possibilities for providing real-time closed captioning
8. Attended trans* Buddhist virtual meditation and participated in post-sit video chat
9. Started drafting a chapter for the Trans* Buddhist anthology

Using resources responsibly (including time)

1. Worked on taking basic care of our home and food garden: e.g., daily cleaning of kitchen/living room, fall cleanup of food garden, pulling invasives from our garden, harvesting and processing food from our garden
2. Worked on reducing compulsive computer use, esp. compulsively checking email and Facebook, and reducing time spent on online entertainment (e.g., Netflix)
3. Did research on potential rain barrel setup at our home to help divert roof water away from the storm sewer system
4. Went on a date with my sweet spouse to a local organic food store to try to source plastic-free alternatives to food that our usual grocery store only carries in plastic packaging
5. Helped my sweet spouse set up a drying rack for indoor clothes drying during rainy/colder weather
6. Looked into sourcing for LED bulbs to replace regular lightbulbs as they burn out
7. Looked into how to make one’s home a net zero energy building (including looking into offsetting)
8. Checked all electrical appliances in house and, where possible, reduced standby power draws by setting up power bars or unplugging appliance when not in use
9. Water conservation: took shorter showers, skipped showers, experimented with capturing clean water in kitchen and bathroom, looked into ways to safely use greywater to water garden, re-used dishes to reduce dishwashing; used cloth wipes instead of disposable toilet paper; checked water consumption stats against previous year to confirm water conservation efforts were going in the right direction
10. Sleuthed ways to reduce fossil fuel dependence and made a list for future actions
11. Retired an old, energy-sucking beast of a desktop computer and moved everything over to an energy-efficient laptop; made arrangements to donate our excess computers (including 2 donated by friends to be used by youth who had been living with us) to not-for-profit organizations
12. Increased my use of bike for transport rather than bus/carpooling, including some long (> 20k) trips
13. Returned to being vegan after a few months of eating dairy and eggs in large quantities
14. Experimented with looking at everything from a “I have enough” mentality instead of anxiety that I don’t have enough ____ (time, money, food, happiness, information, meaning etc.) and racing around trying to get more of whatever I feel I am lacking
15. Looked into making food for our cats using local sustainably caught fish, rather than relying on commercial product

Personal well-being and mental health recovery

1. Created a balanced structured weekday schedule
2. Re-established daily meditation and yoga practice
3. Reconnected with my spiritual home and family, going out to Kokizan-ji (Red Flag Mountain Temple) for the first time in a long time
4. Worked on re-establishing basic personal hygiene: showering, clean clothes, etc.
5. Worked on relationship with food: tried to reduce compulsive eating, eating low-nutrient food, and using food to try to soothe anxiety; practiced eating when hungry and stopping when full
6. Worked on exercising on a regular basis: daily dog walks, running and strength training as part of a half marathon training group, did part of the Zenwest annual pilgrimage
7. Worked on improving sleep
8. When I had a relapse of agoraphobia, read about lapse, relapse, and how to respond in future so a lapse doesn’t turn into a relapse
9. Worked on challenging fear-based avoidance (not leaving house, making excessive commitments, procrastinating to put off doing an activity I’m scared of, etc.)
10. Practiced setting goals, making commitments and taking responsibility/making amends where possible for times when I didn’t fulfill commitments to other people
11. Went to appointments with psychologist who specializes in the mental health stuff I struggle with
12. Tried out BCALM’s Art of Living Mindfully course

Learning (all reading materials available for free online or through the Victoria public library)

1. Watched a live stream of the last in Our Place’s 3-part series Transformation Through First Nations History – Gwawaenuk Hereditary Chief Dr. Robert Joseph speaking about reconciliation and the importance of engaging in sacred, respectful dialogue between Indigenous and non-Indigenous people to transform the relationship
2. Attended online Refugees Welcome direct action webinar facilitated by Toronto migrant justice organizers
3. Participated in first 4 sessions of One Earth Sangha’s EcoSattva Training (in process; 4 more sessions to go)
4. Completed “Story of Stuff” Citizen Muscle Boot Camp
5. Completed the Coursera course Learning for Sustainability: Developing a Personal Ethic and wrote & posted reflections on what I learned in the course
6. Learned more about the work being done by the Anti-Violence Project and visited the harm reduction resource space at UVic Pride
7. Participated in discussion with other Buddhist Peace Fellowship members about actions by Black Lives Matter activists interrupting Bernie Sanders’ speeches to draw attention to racism, anti-black violence, and black liberation
8. Participated in discussion with other students in my Coursera sustainability course on multiple topics, including food sustainability and food justice; water sustainability; environmental racism; immigration policy and social cohesion with respect to sustainability; re-skilling; what we each do in our own lives to try to live sustainably; environment and social impacts of mining and implications for “green” technologies, esp. “renewable” energy; and environmental impacts of keeping animals as pets and the ethics of domesticating animals
9. Sleuthed information on the history of voting rights for prisoners and people with disabilities in Canada, and posted information as part of online discussion about women’s voting rights
10. Commemorated the 44th anniversary of the Attica Rebellion by watching film Attica is All of Us and looking back through archival writing by Dacajewiah, an Attica survivor and longtime Indigenous rights activist. **Warning**: The film includes graphic footage of the state massacre of prisoners and prison staff in Attica, as well as graphic footage of the state humiliation and torture of prisoners following the massacre.
11. Marked Labour Day by watching the No One Is Illegal video We are the Silent Slaves
12. Marked the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and learned more about the rebuilding of New Orleans by watching 10 Years After Katrina: ‘Resilience’, ‘Recovery’, and REALITY
13. Watched A Guerilla Gardener in South Central LA, a TED2013 talk by Ron Finley
14. Read Being Black: Zen and the Art of Living with Fearlessness and Grace, by Rev. angel Kyodo williams
15. Read The Next American Revolution: Sustainable Activism for the 21st Century by Grace Lee Boggs
16. Read For Indigenous Minds Only: A Decolonization Handbook, edited by Waziyatawin and Michael Yellow Bird
17. Read Tsawalk: A Nuu-Chah-Nulth Worldview and Principles of Tsawalk: An Indigenous Approach to Global Crisis, by Umeek – E. Richard Atleo)
18. Read Sistah Vegan: Black Female Vegans Speak on Food, Identity, Health, and Society, edited by Dr. Amie Breeze Harper
19. Read Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson
20. Read Plastic-free: How I Kicked the Plastic Habit and You Can Too, by Beth Terry, as well as various articles by Beth on her site My Plastic Free Life
21. Read The 100 Mile Diet: A Year of Local Eating, by Alisa Smith and James MacKinnon
22. Watched documentaries on addiction & the war on (people who use) drugs and posted a review/critique on a local addiction recovery website, and read Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs by Johann Hari
23. Read the Commit to Racial Justice pamphlet produced by participants in an activist camp and wrote a piece on taking anti-racist vows (commitments) as a white settler
24. Read articles: Privilege Discomfort: Why You Need to Get the Fuck Over It, by Noor Al-Sibai; Why it’s so Hard to Talk to White People About Racism, by Dr. Robin DiAngelo; and Challenging Racism and the Problem with White “Allies”, by Dr. David Leonard
25. Sleuthed information about the environmental and social justice implications of computer use (including manufacture and disposal)
26. Started reading the NOII Vancouver Principles and Statements
27. Started reading Lighting the Eighth Fire: The Liberation, Resurgence, and Protection of Indigenous Nations, edited by Leanne Simpson
28. Started reading Active hope: How to face the mess we’re in without going crazy, by Joanna Macy & Chris Johnstone
29. Started reading about the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade agreement (TPP) to try to understand what some of the local impacts might be
30. Compiled list of anti-colonial, anti-racist reading and learning materials to work on during and after the Sustainability Challenge

Other

1. Started working with yes2scs to put together a visual map of their social justice approach to harm reduction
2. Drafted and put out for feedback a draft piece for two local art projects — All Bodies Are Good Bodies, a fundraiser for the Vancouver Island PWA Society, and Free All Bodies

So, geez. What a great way to challenge my feeling that my mental health problems make me a waste of space (in and of itself a weird capitalist equation of value with productivity). Even struggling as I do, and as frustrated as I often feel with my limitations, I can still get a lot of shit done when there is a setup that is sufficiently flexible to enable me to participate in things.

And, in many ways this ability to get shit done is a reflection of my privileges. My basic physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are covered: I have safe housing, disability insurance that provides enough money for food and water and heat and other necessities, and also extended health insurance that subsidizes to some extent my health care expenses. I have an amazing supportive partner, parents, and sibling, and broader support through networks of friends, spiritual community, political community, and online peer networks. I have a long-time spiritual practice, many opportunities for group practice, and access to a teacher. I have a computer at home that provides me with a way to get shit done and also receive and offer support on days where I can’t leave the house. For many people with mental illness, this is NOT the situation and people are profoundly struggling with day to day survival resulting from poverty, exclusion, and isolation. I am also cognizant that the shit I have been able to do in part reflects that I have an abundance of time – as my illness means I’m not able to be consistent enough to work, and I have no caregiver responsibilities for looking after kids or aging parents.

This lesson is, fundamentally, another reminder to appreciate what I have, and an opportunity to recommit to using my privileges to work towards a society without these kinds of inequities and injustices — where nobody benefits from the exploitation of others and we collectively look after each other and share our responsibilities and resources in an equitable and joyous way. And also to challenge beliefs, including my own, around measuring a person’s worth by a particular kind of productivity and accomplishment – an ideological system that has been so profoundly devastating to people with disabilities, children, and elders.

And what about you?

I would love to get feedback from you. What do you think of all of this rambling? What resonates with you, and what doesn’t? Are you trying your own sustainability initiatives and if so what are you learning?